It's Official!

You Scored as KINSEY six
SIX: face it hon, you're as
gay as they come

KINSEY six
81%
KINSEY five
38%
KINSEY
two
38%
KINSEY one
38%
KINSEY four
31%
KINSEY three
13%
KINSEY zero
0%

The truth behind Prop 8

Paris Pride Photo Essay

Let's get this party started


There was an old man inside this bus stop who looked like he couldn't figure out why the bus was so behind schedule


D&G – "Drunk and Gorgeous"


Rockin' the rosé on Boulevard St-Michel


Crazy girl who came up to us and said "You're from Cananda?! I love you!! Whaaaa!" – Best picture ever!


P with hottie French police officers


A looOOong story!


The end!

Hands up Baby

More to come soon on my amazing adventures in the French countryside. But in the mean time, lets take a moment to reflect on the amazingness of the Eighties:

Iceland

Check out this gorgeous Sigur Rós video. It's called Viðrar vel til loftárása (or "Good Weather for Airstrikes" for anyone who didn't pay attention during Icelandic class in high school).

Why is everyone and everything from Iceland so beautiful and weird? Does it have something to do with the fact that there are no trees? Or perhaps a combination of geo-thermal activity and whale consumption which addles the brain? Whatever the reason, all signs say "Get thee to a Björkery!" — I hear Icelandair offers cheap stopovers on its flights from North America to Europe. Maybe I can arrange something when I'm enroute to Paris this fall... (assuming I ever get my school documents sorted out).

And as a sidenote, why are European passport stamps so lame-o and boring? I know most Europeans are too busy smoking cigarettes and getting laid to worry about dull-as-dishwater passport stamps, but really, can't they even pretend like they're trying?

Yeay Gay!

For all you loyal WTTMB readers who are not (yet) on Facebook, you can still see my photo album from this year’s crazy-fun Pride weekend. Just click here.

(I couldn’t be arsed to upload photos both here and there; Blogspot’s photo features are too cumbersome to do a whole album).

Certainly one of –if not the– best Pride ever! Who knew it was so easy to consume so much alcohol? Yeay Gay!

The Curiosity of Chance

I saw this movie as a kind of last minute thing using vouchers I got from volunteering at Inside Out. Funny and smart and definitely the best movies of the festival, I really hope this gets picked up for distribution because it has so much potential.

Taking its cue from The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles and all the other John Hughes 80s teen movies that people love, it has all teased hair and music that made the 80s great, plus drag queens, hot shirtless neighbours, a super-cute lead and sassy Eurotrash accents (the movie is set at an American school in Belgium). What more could you want?

While this film is funny and light-hearted, it's also a headlong look at the unpleasant reality of being gay in high school. Unlike most gay teen movies which deal with coming out, the title character in this movie, Chance, is already out. Way out. With his sexuality already a fait accompli, the movie looks at the bullying, addled parents, jocks and self-doubt that all teen gays spend their formative years dealing with.

Change Belgium for Belleville and Wham! for Nirvana and what you have is a film about an eccentric gay outsider struggling with being gay in high school — i.e. a film about me! It was as though the writer had followed me around Grade 11 and translated my life into a script — The film could have just as easily been called The Curiosity of Tokyo Tintin for how much I felt like I was watching my life. There is even an exact duplicate of a conversation I had with one of my friends. (A: “I don’t know why you put up with the jocks.” Me: “I rise above it and be the better person.”). While the protagonist goes on to face his fears and his bullies in an explosion of glitter and fabulousness, I wish the outcome of my conversation had been more fruitful. I just shirked away from the bullying and built up a wall of defenses (and rather lacked in glitter department I'm afraid). I guess I learned something from it all, but perhaps there was a better lesson I could have taken away from the situation.

I found Curiosity of Chance really empowering and wish I’d had the opportunity to see it when I was young and impressionable. I might have found the confidence to stand up to the myriad of jerks and rednecks who populated my school and achieved my full fablutronic potential at a much younger age. For the sake of all the gay youths out there I hope this film gets picked up for distribution and adopted into the gay cannon post haste (right up there with Rocky Horror and Jem). We'd probably have more happy confident homos with positive outlooks and square heads on their shoulders (and even, perhaps, less dependence on transvestite aliens or hologramme machines — I personally am lost when my Synergy earrings stop working).

Kudos to Russell P. Marleau for writing and directing such an insightful and funny movie (about me). I can't wait to see it in the cinema again!

You can watch the trailer here.

Daniel Craig wants a gay Bond

"Daniel Craig has revealed that he is pressurising producers to include a gay scene in the next James Bond film.

"He says he wants to keep Bond 'unpredictable'...the secret agent..notorious for chasing women....and he wants him to go gay?...

"A film insider said: "Bond will always be a hit with the ladies. But Daniel has a massive gay fan base and that can't be ignored."

(Full story here, and here).

Perez Hilton: Yey or Ney?

Perez Hilton is in "beeg traable for moose and squirell" now that everyone is suing him for a zillion dollars. It would seem that, among other things, some celebs are unhappy at being chased out of the closet.

Do celebrities, by virtue of being public figures, give up their right to privacy? While I think celebrities do deserve privacy, I'm conflicted on this topic however, when it comes to outing. There are two reasons for this; the first is visibility. When I was young, if I'd had gay role models to look up to other than Mr Humphries and Svend Robinson, I'd probably have ended up a lot less weird than I am now. If high school has taught me anything, it's that three-quarters of all boys in drama class are homos. It would therefore stand to reason that you couldn't swing a last-season Prada bag in Hollywood without hitting a poofy bender. But instead we have a dearth of fey fairy princesses and a cavalcade of rumours (which are all true). What ever happened to strength in numbers? C'mon, homo solidarity people!

The second reason is that I don't really understand why being gay is considered something "private." I mean, being Jewish or Black isn't considered "private," so why is being gay? Is it perhaps because we're somehow ashamed, and want to keep it hidden and secret?

I know there is the whole issue of gay actors being able to get good roles, but really, haven't we moved beyond that already? Aren't all the closeted actors the ones perpetuating this stereotype more than anyone else? And even if that were that case, I'll be *so* upset if Jake Gyllenhal isn't able to make 17 million dollars a movie anymore and won't be able to ride his diamond-encrusted albino elephant to the money factory. Boo-hoo-hoo! Time to gather up your cajones and come out boys. I know it took a long time to get there, but Black actors now play roles that don't have anything to do with being Black; I think studio execs would come around pretty quickly when they realise that, holy crap, everyone in Hollywood is a raging homo.

In early anticipation of National Coming Out Day (11 October), the following people are gay:
Leonardo DiCaprio
Hayden Christensen
Jessica Alba
Tom Cruise (woops! How did he get in there?)

Ricky Martin
Jake Gyllenhaal
Maggie Gyllenhaal
Lance Armstrong
Jimmy Fallon
Elijah Wood
Sherlock Holmes
Sally Struthers
Lunchlady Doris
Mary Queen of Scots

Jeff Probst

Helen Keller

Okay– so some of those people probably aren't gay (yeah, they're air-quote "bisexual"). The point is I fully support Perez Hilton's stated goal of outing everyone in Hollywood. Who's with me?

Hot Survivor Gayness

Alternate title: "Black, Brown, Yellow Power!"

Last night's Survivor: Cook Islands final episode capped off the most action-packed season since All Stars. The ups, the downs, the come-from-behind, Aitu, Raro, great challenges, and the racial divide. Kudos to you Cook Islands!

During the reunion show, Drumboy said "I think JP is gay" —and while the the though that this muy caliente pro volleyball player was a bender never occured to me during the course of the season, a few clicks of the internet confirmed his raging hot festiveness (1, 2, 3). Apparently there's even been rumours circulating that JP and fellow teammate Brad have been having their own tribal council, if you know what i'm saying (1).

In honour of JP's amazing pecs, I present to you a retrospective of lustyful Survivors of yore. Enjoy!

Jeff - Palau

Silas - Africa














Jed - Thailand

Kel - Australia

John - Vanuatu

Aras - Panama
















Burton - Pearl Islands

Johnathan - Palau

Pope calls same sex-unions 'weak and deviant'

As if it wasn't bad enough that we had to wait a million years for John-Paul to die, now we're stuck with awful Ratzinger who is even worse!

This article is so chock-a-block full of the Pope's contractions that it makes my head want to explode

First he says the Church must say "'no' to weak and deviant forms of love." Now I didn't pay a whole lot of attention in Sunday school, but I'm pretty sure Jesus loved everybody, no matter who they were, or what kind of love they had. But I guess the Bible has been wrong this whole time, and we should only love old white European men who wear eccentric hats and who try to micro-manage everyone’s lives.

Then he said that the Church did not want to be “a political agent” but wanted to help shape social policy. Given that he won’t shut up about equal marriage and threatens Canada’s politicians with eternal damnation for not forcing their private Catholic views on our civil government, I can’t see how he’s not trying to exert his political influence. A theocracy might be fine for some right-wing lunatics, but a mediaeval church state is not my idea of a good time. Quite frankly, in the 21st century the Church has no business whatsoever trying to tell Government what to do. We already gave the Church a chance; it was called the Dark Ages, and no one really much cared for it the first time around.

And finally, in a fit of hypocrisy so overwhelming as to be literally sickening, the Pope complained that “unjustifiable,” “ancient prejudices” were hindering state funding for Catholic schools in Italy. Since ancient prejudices are something Catholics are experts at; it must be quite difficult to have the tables turned now. Oh boo-hoo, people in Italy don’t want to give money to religious schools. How upsetting that must be. Well on behalf of the millions and millions of women, non-Christians and gays who have suffered and died because of the Church’s ancient prejudices: Screw You!

That’s it Pope Benedict! You’ve barely been around for a whole year and you’ve already pissed me off far too many times. You are officially: Dead to Me! —I can only hope that unlike Pope JP, we won’t have to wait too long before you’re dead to everyone else as well.

Hey Benny, here’s a tip: if you’re worried about nose-diving church attendance all over the world, maybe you should try modernising your Nut-Job House of Rules and Prejudice and stop trying to pretend that we’re all living in the 13th century.

When are we going to have "Defense Against Idiot Prime Ministers Act"?

Honestly, I’m getting tired of writing angry indignant blog posts about how much of a jerk Stephen Harper is. He is such a jerk! Now that it’s clear that his proposal to reopen the equal marriage debate is almost sure to fail, he’s planning to put forward a “Defense of Religions Act” to protect the rights of civil servants from performing civil weddings which they find objectionable because of their religious beliefs.

Now suffice it to say that religious freedoms are protected up the yin-yang under the Charter of Rights and Freedoms; but if your job is to perform civil weddings for people whom your religion tells you are uncool, then you need to find a new job!!

Also to be protected under the purported act are the rights of people to criticise homosexual behaviour. Now in my mind this contradicts the provisions of the Freedom of Expression Act which protect people from harmful expression on the basis of their sexual orientation. Who is to say where to draw the line between what is critical and what is hurtful? –Conservative judges appointed by Stephen Harper perhaps? Well, isn’t that handy then.

The most surprising thing about this whole situation was that i didn’t read anything about it in the Toronto Star. I had to resort to getting my news from The Globe and Mail, (shudder), and even then I only knew about the story because I walked past a newspaper box and saw the headline. Only after some hunting did I manage to dig up stuff from the Star in the nether-reaches of their website. I can usually count on the Star to bring me the lefty-loosey progressive kind of news I need, but now instead I’ve got some kind of topsy-turvy world where the Globe is putting homo stuff on their front page. What is going on?

Anyhow, again, Pwpth!! –I spit on you Stephen Harper. My indignation knows no bounds.

(Globe & Mail article)

That time of year again

The autumn sitting of Parliament is just around the corner, and with it is Stephen DonkeyFacedJerkKnob Harper’s promise to revisit the equal marriage debate so that he can pander to conservative redneck hicks in Alberta and be a kowtowing lackey for his best bud George W.

Now, he is doing this even though
1) Parliament has already decided this issue.
2) Legal experts have said that backtracking on this human rights issue is constitutionally impossible.
3) A growing and clear majority of people are opposed to reopening this issue. People who initially opposed equal marriage are now opposed to debating this issue all over again (maybe because several years of debating and royal-commissioning have already taken place).

God, talk about flogging a dead horse Steve! I am very temped to process Stephen Harper straight through to the “Dead To Me” section, but I will differ to correct procedure and first announce that Stephen Harper, you’re officially On Notice!

Now, hopefully it will be the last time I ever have I ever have to entreat you to email your MPs and remind them Canada is a nation of hippy granola pinko commie leftwingers who love bilingual cereal boxes and cheap prescription drugs and believe that everyone should do whatever they want; take a bear to church, read a book with your feet, change your name to Goobleglob, or even, saints preserve us, get married to whomever you want to!

Contact your MP through this handy

Blame Canada!

Is it just me, or is this new pope (aside from being a Nazi), waaay worse than old JP? It seems like he's turning up the rhetoric to level ten.

See this Toronto Star article, here, where he says that Canada is going to hell for being a bunch of pot-smoking hippies with all our seal-clubbing, aborting and sinful fag weddings. I especially like the part where he says that Canada's commitment to justice and peace means that people's rights have been extended "too far." Uh -hello- how can people possibly have "too many" rights?! It's preposterous!

He's saying things that don't even make sense: "I encourage you to demonstrate that our Christian faith, far from being an impediment to dialogue, is a bridge." What kind of bridge are we talking about here Ratzinger? A bridge to take us from ignorance to oppression, that spans the river of human rights and freedoms perhaps? If there's one thing the papacy can do well, it's to be an impediment.

I also love how he's trying to meddle in that whole darned separation-of-church-and-state thing by "calling on bishops to use their influence with politicians by urging them to consider religious values when making decisions, not just public opinion polls and social trends."

All right – That's it! À la Colbert Report; Pope Benedict XVI, you're officially on notice!

I would like to formally commemorate our papal going-to-hell-ness with a clip of Robin Williams singing Blame Canada from the 2000 Oscar show. Hi-larious!

Quelle Surprise!

It may or may not surprise you that Lance Bass finally came out and said he is gay for Reichen from the Amazing Race. Here is the article (thanks to Jenni for passing it on);

NEW YORK (AP) — Lance Bass, band member of 'N Sync, says he's gay and in a "very stable" relationship with a reality show star.

Bass, who formed 'N Sync with Justin Timberlake, JC Chasez, Joey Fatone and Chris Kirkpatrick, tells People magazine that he didn't earlier disclose his sexuality because he didn't want to affect the group's popularity.

"I knew that I was in this popular band and I had four other guys' careers in my hand, and I knew that if I ever acted on it or even said (that I was gay), it would overpower everything," he tells the magazine.

'N Sync is known for a string of hits including 'Bye Bye Bye' and 'It's Gonna Be Me'. The band went on hiatus in 2002. Bass has also found headlines for undertaking astronaut training and failing to raise money for a trip into space.

Bass says he wondered if his coming out could prompt "the end of 'N Sync." He explains, "So I had that weight on me of like, `Wow, if I ever let anyone know, it's bad.' So I just never did." The singer says he's in a "very stable" relationship with 32-year-old actor Reichen Lehmkuhl, winner of season 4 of CBS's Amazing Race.

Bass and Fatone, 29, are developing a sitcom pilot inspired by the screwball comedy The Odd Couple, in which his character will be gay.

"The thing is, I'm not ashamed," Bass says. "I don't think it's wrong, I'm not devastated going through this. I'm more liberated and happy than I've been my whole life. I'm just happy."

Well it's about freakin' time! We all knew he was a big power bottom — he's not foolin' nobody! Now's the chance for all those other B-list minor celebs to revive their waning careers with gay book deals and inspirational speaking tours à la Mark Tewksbury. Hello, James Van Der Beek, Jake Gyllenhaal, are you listening!?

Shame!

Last weekend was Gay Pride in Toronto – sorry for the delay in writing about it, but my ego has barely recovered. I was all set for a weekend of fun and tawdry meaningless sex with transient tourists, but instead I had a series of ego-crusing failures and dissapointments. Oh woah is me! I am still a bit in disbelief that I wasn't able to get laid – really it should be like shooting fish in a barrel. Well, I contend that I was simply too gorgeous and people found me intimidating and perhaps out of their league (which, of course, I am, but that's another matter).

I'll have to try to fugly it up in the future – a pocket protector maybe?

Here is a picture of me being unsuccessfully gay, and a picture of some gay Native Canadians. How Gay!



P.S. Any tips on how to be gay and have empty meaningless sex with strange men? Apparently I am in need of a refresher course.

Four Gay Weddings and an Intervention

Alternate Title: "Why I Hate Stephen Harper So Much"

So, although I am a continent away, I still hate Stephen Harper and the asinine Conservative Party very much. Despite the fact that polls showed that the majority of Canadians supported equal marriage, and an even larger majority oppose reopening the issue in Parliament, our joke of a Prime Minister has taken it upon himself to make Parliament vote again on this issue.

Now, the pro-equal marriage side is likely win again, and even if it didn't, legal experts have said that taking away these rights would now be unconstitutional. But, it's important to let your MPs know how you feel. Mostly they hear from right-wing crazys, so letting them hear the views of the silent majority is key. Please take ten seconds to visit equal-marriage.ca which has ready-made emails to send off to your MP regarding equal marriage. I appreciate it.

On a lighter note, who do you think will get gay married first; Tom and Brandon, or Ian and James?

Also on a lighter note; check out "Brokeback to the Future". Awesome.