01 July 2006

Shame!

Last weekend was Gay Pride in Toronto – sorry for the delay in writing about it, but my ego has barely recovered. I was all set for a weekend of fun and tawdry meaningless sex with transient tourists, but instead I had a series of ego-crusing failures and dissapointments. Oh woah is me! I am still a bit in disbelief that I wasn't able to get laid – really it should be like shooting fish in a barrel. Well, I contend that I was simply too gorgeous and people found me intimidating and perhaps out of their league (which, of course, I am, but that's another matter).

I'll have to try to fugly it up in the future – a pocket protector maybe?

Here is a picture of me being unsuccessfully gay, and a picture of some gay Native Canadians. How Gay!



P.S. Any tips on how to be gay and have empty meaningless sex with strange men? Apparently I am in need of a refresher course.

11 comments:

Miss Ash said...

I for one am shocked. I agree they must have been intimidated by your confidence and sexiness :)

Boo to them.

Jennifer said...

it's because you hung out with a bunch of homos instead of going out with some very accomplished fag hags (ie me and p). fag hags aren't just there to look pretty, they serve a purpose too.

tokyo tintin said...

well jenni, preetom is trying to land me a hook up with a rock musician. what have you done for me lately?

Princess Pessimism said...

I am also shocked, and agree, that you must have been too gorgeous, leaving them all feeling intimidated.

But I also agree with Jenni....I got a strange gay man to make out, TWO strange men to make out with me at pride 2 years ago.....we have pictures. LOL!!!

heren chan said...

Darling,
never fear. Just thank yourlucky stars that you have not been overtaken by the guilt and remorse that would ultimately ensue from a little, might i say "Pride free" fugly bumping. All I can say is if they are too concerned with dressing up as native americans (shouldnt it be against the very ethos of being a proud gay canadian to dress up as anything american? or does the village people transcend such norms?) then you should not concern yourself with them.
And as for pocket protectors, only if they are from versace and carry mont blancs.
So woe not mon petit choix (cabbage?) our lovage is large. I would in a heart beat strap on something strapping but i fear that i lack the certain panache required to carry that off. You are indeed the belle of the ball(s) it was just the wrong guest list.
Mwah
ps my word verification thingy spells "that fez" ha!

jase said...

Sweetie, you know that there were a thousand or so blokes gagging to get a peek inside your over-priced undies but were intimidated by your cool quotient and suavivity (look everyone I just made a word!) Perhaps you could have tried to affect an accent? I should have thought 3 years of study at "Jase's 'Crikey, A Dingo Ate My Lingo' School of Australiana and Domestic Animal Husbandry" would have you sounding like an emu farmer from Wagga. Trust me: good looks + cute accent = hot sex. Looks like a refresher course is in order. (Or, failing that take Jennifer's advice and use the ol' "I'm going out with a gaggle of girls so I don't feel guilty when I leap on the first decent looking guy with a pulse and mysteriously diappear leaving my girlfriends to while away the hours dancing on podiums with some bedraggled drag queens discussing proper tucking technique." We've all done it.)

Jennifer said...

Suavivity! Excellent new word Jase!
Although, I think that while a real accent is sexy, a fake accent is the opposite of sexy. If you want to have an accent, then you have to go somewhere where everyone speaks differently to you.
As for what I've done for you lately TT, what have you done for me lately? As in invitations to put on my glad rags and have a gay old time! I can't help if I'm not invited.

heren chan said...

The expandificationaries of the vocabulations are sesquinadalean in there necessitudes jase am muchly proudified by your developmentaries. Must agree with you about the accent-uation but I also have reservations about the adoption of a dialect thats not quite your native tongue. I mean look at Tom Cruise in "Far and Away" any "australians" in "Lost", the list is endless, my memory is not. So Dan we shall just have to bring you to Oz where your naturally dulcet tones can wow the populace with their ... dulcetness. Its all just a location problem, Karma if you will. When you leave me bad things happen, when you stay with me good things happen. So lets put it into practice. yay!

tokyo tintin said...

my over-whelming suavivity aside, you may all be happy to learn that i went out on date on friday! --it went swimmingly, and while the sexificationals were in the order of first base only, i had a thoroughly good time and will hopefully see the lovely adam again this week.

FYI: he's soooo sexy!

heren chan said...

you went swimming with a stranger dont you know thats more dangerous than eating and then going for a paddle about thus inducing an inconvenient cramping feeling.
Be Careful,
Stranger Danger!

Jennifer said...

TT, How about a post about the glorious victory at trivia on Sunday?