One of the many great things about being in Japan is that I’ve made friends with straight guys again. They’re sugoi! (except for the freakazoids of course). –I say ‘again’, but actually, for the life of me I cannot recall the last heterosexual guy I befriended. Nonetheless, the lads here are all really top-notch (pictured are Irish and J-Dub with yours truly at a Nichōme gay bar the other night). I get to learn about all kinds of useful things like changing flat tires, while at the same time playing Queer Eye for Shinjuku Honko telling people to wear tighter shirts (a large looks good on no one people!) and to exfoliate to prevent in-grown hairs when shaving. Who knew that straights could be so much fun?
I never realised that, other than sports and shopping, gay guys and straight guys have so much in common. I remember many an evening sitting around the 3-11 kitchen table, whilst Sly and Jenni griped about guys and occasionally interjecting “Why do boys suck?”, looking to me for some kind of enlightenment. I now must confess, in the cold, unblinking eye of cyberspace, that it was I who thought them crazy!
A sample conversation:
Jenni: “So, I was at this bar, and I see this cute guy, and he totally came over and tried to talk to me! What a jerk! Can you believe that!?”
Tintin: “Um, but didn’t you just say he was cute?”
Jenni: “Yeah, but I don’t want some loser to just start talking to me! Gawd! – I mean, who does he think he is!”
How you silly straight people ever manage to get anything done will forever remain an elusive mystery to me. Much less that men and women aren’t on the same page, you’re not even in the same library! I’ve never had a problem where me and whoever’s expectations were so different, or motives so incomprehensible as to cause me throw up my hands in a chorus of “Boys Suck!”
Now, do you ladies out there (and lads too), think that the men/women differences are so big as to be insurmountable, or do you think you’re just fast and easy with the “Boys suck” because it’s an easy and convenient scapegoat? –I’m genuinely interested to know what’s going on in those fine, foxy noggins of yours’, ladies.